Useful Tips for Newly Married Couples

Marriages are one heck of a roller coaster ride. We are sure all the married readers would agree to this. For newlyweds, it is important to understand that once the excitement of the wedding and the honeymoon is over, there are a few things they need to keep in mind to make a strong foundation of their relationship. And, this 'work towards the strong foundation' has to be started from the very beginning. So, here are a few things that would help you to keep the stones of that strong foundation.

1. Divide your responsibilities

Nowadays, generally both the partners are working individuals. Both have to spend long working hours at their respective workplaces. In such a case, it is not fair to the wife if she has to handle all the household chores alone. For a successful marriage, try to divide your responsibilities.
For example, if the wife is taking care of the cooking, the husband can take care of the grocery shopping.

2. Discuss your finances

A universal topic which usually causes huge fights and misunderstandings is that of ‘money’. If not before marriage then immediately after it, a newly married couple should try to figure out a way to manage their finances together.
Weather you both are working or only one, you need to decide an amount for your household expenses, investment schemes, other expenses, and most importantly, set a particular amount to save every month.

3. Accept each other's weaknesses

Everyone dreams of finding a perfect life partner. One who is caring, sensitive, funny, charming and the list goes on and on. But you need to accept a simple fact that nobody is perfect, not even you! So instead of pinpointing your partner’s negative points or weaknesses, try to accept them. Do not try to change a person against their will. This might keep them from being open with you. Relationship with your special someone is a space where you just want to be your true self without any pretenses.

4. Resolve conflicts, don't increase them

There is no conflict or misunderstanding which cannot be solved by decent communication. Not discussing matters of conflict with each other can cause them to turn into huge fights. It is obvious that when two completely different people start a new life together, there will be matters of disagreement as the two keep discovering new things about the other. Sitting together and talking about these matters through peaceful communication will help you to resolve disagreement, before they elevate into a fight.

5. Set limits to family interference

For a newly married couple, a common problem that can bitter the relation between a newlywed couple is the unwanted family interference. It could be by the immediate family members or by distant relatives. For the safety of your own relation, set limits to this interference. Always stand up for one another and do not let a third person see even a little crack in the relationship that you and your spouse share.

6. Never forget romance

Don’t underestimate the power of a sweet word or a warm caress, a candlelight dinner accompanied with music, it can work wonders. So despite of your hectic schedules find the time to express your love and never take your partner for granted.

7. Make time for each other

Another important thing is to always find time for one another no matter how busy each of you is. Handling stress at work along with household chores can get difficult for some. But you need to make a conscious effort to take time out for one another so as not to let the romance fade away. This is the best advice for those especially who have met through an arranged setup and are still discovering things about each other.

8. Be honest

Face your problems, admit that they exist and work on solving them. Hiding behind a screen will not make them disappear, and ignoring them will only build them up into a dormant volcano ready to erupt at any time, pouring out lava of pain, anger and disappointment.

9. Keep the balance between giving and taking

Love is all about giving, but mind you, this does not mean that one party should take advantage of the other; it can't mean endless giving from one partner and endless taking from the other. There is a thin line between the two partners of giving and taking each in his way.

10. Be prepared for big challenges

One of the most reliable predictors of a lifelong marriage is the commitment to a lifelong marriage. It is for this reason that long-lasting marriages bury the D word (divorce). This doesn’t mean that we hide our head in the sand and pretend that divorce would never happen to us. It means being proactive and doing the daily work of nurturing the marriage so that divorce does not become the final escape.
The wedding day is only the first day of many “I do’s.” It is the commitment to look for a way through a troublesome problem that makes solutions possible, despite all odds. When boredom or weariness challenge your love, it is commitment that pushes you to renew it by dating each other again, attending a marriage retreat or, if necessary, consulting a counselor.

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How to Handle Your Short-tempered Spouse

Most marriages go through periods of highs and lows. Therefore, it is pretty common for a husband and wife to differ on certain points. At times one person becomes more dominant than the other. If the husband enjoys making his point heard, the wife would prefer to let him have his say to maintain calmness in their bond. Or, the wife may disagree with her husband on different topics and the husband might choose to act as the peacemaker. Well, here are some ways to handle your spouse’s temper effectively.

Recognize the triggers

The first step is to recognize each other’s temperament. Make it a point to voice your feelings to one another in the best possible way without being condescending or judgmental. Once both of you are aware of what acts as a trigger for your respective anger issues, you can deal with them more effectively. It is common knowledge that ‘opposites attract’, and so make sure that both of you balance each other out and are aware of what irks the other.

Take a step back

Secondly, it would be wise if you took a step back to allow your partner to cool down. Therefore, if you find your spouse getting angry over something, do not make things worse by tackling them or reprimanding them for their actions there and then. Instead, step aside and allow them to calm down. In time, they themselves will come back and apologize for their outburst. The key here is to give them their space so that they can realize their folly on their own.

Keep your own attitude under check

Realize that at times it might be your behaviour and attitude that might cause tempers to fly. If you fight fire with fire, you will land up in a stalemate with the problem still left unsolved. It is vital that you manage your emotions well in order to prevent any major outburst with your temperamental spouse. So, if you know that there are things that could cause an emotional outburst; your reaction to it could determine whether it has the possibility of turning ugly or getting resolved.

Dig into some patience

Fourthly, in order to really deal effectively with your short-tempered spouse, you will need to dig into your reserve of patience. Sometimes you may disapprove of your spouse’s outbursts over trivial and petty issues. These may cause you to wonder what you might have done wrong. However, the key to dealing with such outbursts over minor issues is to have the patience to deal with your partner calmly. Therefore, avoid responding with equally nasty comments that could rupture into something major.

Encourage them towards change

Lastly, you could help encourage your spouse to adopt certain tips to calm down during an outburst. Deep breathing and maybe some meditation in the morning could prove to be the right solutions to help your partner control his/her temperament. Also, make sure to inform your spouse about the ill-effects of anger, namely how it can lead to complications and affect their health in the bargain.

These tips are sure to keep a check on your spouse’s temper issues, thereby ensuring that your marriage is stable and happy.

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How matrimonial sites can be of use to you?

India is a growing economy and has the potential to be one of the most powerful and respected nations of the world. There are several states in India and each of them has very distinct topography, culture, languages, art and music etc. Tamil Nadu is one of the most prominent states of the country.

It has made good economic progress in the past years and has a rich history of culture, art, music and dance. The people there are hardworking and courteous.Now I am sure that you are already aware of these facts since you are looking for a reliable Tamil matrimony site to find yourself a life partner. If you are yourself from the state then you well know why the state is one of the most prized states of India. Marriage is an institution that is respected all over the world as a means of spending a happy and fulfilling life.

Are you tired of searching for your life partner in the traditional way? The girl next door or the niece of a distant aunt or your sister's friend; all may be wonderful people on their own right; however, none of them might be just right for you. You should be able to make your own choice and fall in love before getting married. For a long and contended nuptial life you need to find the right life partner.When you resort to the services of one of the best Indian matrimonial sites, you will be able to find your dream partner from an extensive database of the prospective brides. You will be under no social pressure or any kind of time pressure.

You can simply register yourself in one of the most admired shaadi sites India with your personal and professional details. When you fill up the forms with your details you stand a better chance to be found by someone who could be your life partner. After you register yourself, you'll be able to access the extensive database of prospects.

The best shaadi sites will allow you to give detailed search after stating what are the qualities that you are looking for in your bride? Do you want your bride to be a trained Bharatnatyam dancer or a person proficient in Karnataka classical music? You may search by profile ID, built in preference or alternatively you may give a custom search.

When you create a profile in a tamil matrimony site, just keep in mind neither to reveal personal information in the first instance nor to get too close with the person without knowing the person pretty well.

After interacting for sometime if you feel that you are comfortable in interacting with the person and find each other interesting; then go ahead and exchange personal information or even fix a date.When you are sincere in your objective then in all likelihood your prayers will be heard and you will be able to find the perfect match for you on the preferred marriage matrimony site.

Marriage is one of the most important decisions and choices that you make in your life. Take your own time to decide on the perfect match. With a focused approach you will be able to achieve, not just success but happiness.

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Is your sex technique right?

Accepting the fact that your partner is not keen to explore your sexual fantasies isn't easy. Here's help!

26-year-old Tanya dreamt of replicating the romantic moves she'd seen on screen last evening with her husband. But the moment she slipped into a sexy black dress, she knew something would go wrong with her anticipated night of pleasure. By the time the two went to bed, her better half was semi asleep and just as she reached across to him, all he sleepily mused was, 'Not tonight honey!'

A frequent occurrence in the sexual life of any urban couple, the moment your partner denies your sexual needs, the other half immediately starts nursing innumerable thoughts. "Is my wife having an affair or is that I fail to seduce her anymore?", "doesn't my husband love my touch?", are the most common thoughts that recur in a partner's head.

An unwillingness to get physically cozy and intimate often creates suspicion and doubts in the mind of the other partner. Too much sexual inadequacy often also creates physical distance and an emotional disconnect, often leading to the break down of marital ties.

A housewife says, "When he denied me for the first time, I got really embarrassed and didn't know how to react. I finally decided to go to bed without uttering a single word. Now this happens quite frequently and obviously it leads to a great amount of friction between us."

Accepting the fact that your partner is not keen to explore your sexual fantasies isn't easy to digest, so here are some tips to get the chemistry sizzling once again.

Is your technique right?

While you're in bed with your partner, try to explore beyond the regular pleasure points. Find out new ways to seduce your partner, try new positions and don't be afraid to go beyond the regular seduction techniques. All this can help you and your partner in renewing the passion for making love to each other.

Sunil Sharma, a marketing manager shares his experience, "I was tired of listening to this line from my wife, so I finally decided to sit across the table and discuss her sexual needs frankly. After a prolonged conversation, my wife revealed to me that I fail to arouse her completely. More than me touching her genitals, she liked kissing, fondling and hugging. She didn't like to be wild in bed and preferred a more subtle approach. I realized that I needed to be more attentive to her innate desires to help us bond better in bed."

Here's help: Dr Sanjay Chugh, psychologist, says, "A man can get his woman in the mood by being physically affectionate with her, like running his hands tenderly along her legs, stroking her hair, kissing her on her eyes or giving her a little love bite on her neck. You will completely turn her off if you are always in a mad rush for intercourse. Many women also get bored with having sex the same way for long. So never be afraid of trying out new things."

'It was a long tiring day'
Today's fast paced life often puts a lot of pressure on the couple which carries into the bedroom. This increases the stress level and thus they get lesser time to relax and rejuvenate themselves. Most of us are indulging in multitasking, which makes it difficult to concentrate on one's personal life.

 Dr Samir Parikh, psychologist says, "Our work has become the primary aspect of our life. No wonder that it's the primary source of most of our problems as well. Something or the other goes wrong everyday in one's professional ambit. The work culture we have these days, completely drains us out. It brings in communication gap between couples and affects their sex drive too. Therefore, it is necessary to learn to switch off from work once you walk home."

Smita Sen, a public relation executive says, "Me and my husband hardly have any sex life now. We work for a BPO and our timings are completely different. We hardly get any time to spend with each other. Whenever I pursue him, he says he is too tired, when he is in the mood, I don't feel like making love to him. It's drawing us apart."

Here's help: If your partner has been trying hard to meet deadlines and cope up with mounting work pressure, it may become difficult for him/her to concentrate on lovemaking. It's important to show some concern towards your spouse. Try to find out what is bothering him/her, try to comfort them, give them a stimulating massage if they are fatigued as it may help them open up and talk about their work issues.

Once they talk frankly to you, you can comfort them and maybe get them into the mood for a night of passion. Try to do things that relax you both.

Indulging in a warm shower together, enjoying the experience in an atmosphere filled with scented candles and aroma oils can take away the pent up stress. If you have a bathtub, soak yourself with your beau and put on some Zen chants to make the environment soothing.

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How long can you last without sex?

How long can you last without intercourse, before abstinence starts negatively influencing and affecting your overall health? How well do you know your "sexual watch"? How well can you interpret your "need" for having sex?

Can this need be calmed and oppressed just by the tender gestures of your partner or do you need an entire sexual "show" to feel completely satisfied? Since most people do not ask themselves these kind of questions, there are often conflicts due to the difference between the behaviour and the sexual needs of everyone.

What are your priorities?

Sex is, undoubtedly, a necessity of the body, based on two coordinates: reproduction and the tendency to socialize, to permanently cooperate with those around us. Survival on long periods of time is based to humans' abilities to live in groups, which involves the birth of relations, more or less lasting or enjoyable. Most times, one of the options regarding celebrating or making an inter-human relationship official is the sexual act itself.

How is your body saying you need to have sex?

It might be easy to overlook your body's signals regarding the need to have sex, because many times you associate them to other problems which you probably have to deal with on a daily basis. The best way is to observe which and how many negative moods go away immediately after having sex. Keep in mind the fact that sex does not always involve two people, in other terms, consider masturbation an option.

Must-have-sex signals

- Excessive nervousness

- Long states of unjustified anxiety, migraines

- Permanent stress

- Lack of food appetite

- Lack of the need to sleep

- Contradictory feelings regarding certain persons

- Frequent sexual fantasies, especially during nighttime.

Practically, a non-existing sexual life causes a lot of reactions, more or less explicable, and in some extreme cases it can lead to severe physical and philological reactions: skin itches, irritations, anger etc. You could end up hurting the ones beside you, emotionally or even physically, because you did not "read" one of your body's cries for help.

Once you fully and completely understand your body's message: "I need sex!" it will be a lot easier for you to identify the time periods these unpleasant symptoms occur. If you manage to do this, you will also be able to prevent them. Of course, these intervals vary from person to person, and they are dependent to certain factors, such as age, sex, lifestyle, physical condition, pregnancy, menopause etc.

All in all, make sure you take some time and really analyze yourself and your body, your needs and your desires, and that way you will manage to understand the course of action you have to take so that everything returns on its' right normal "path" again.

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