Marriages are one heck of a roller coaster ride. We are sure all the married readers would agree to this. For newlyweds, it is important to understand that once the excitement of the wedding and the honeymoon is over, there are a few things they need to keep in mind to make a strong foundation of their relationship. And, this 'work towards the strong foundation' has to be started from the very beginning. So, here are a few things that would help you to keep the stones of that strong foundation.
1. Divide your responsibilities
Nowadays, generally both the partners are working individuals. Both have to spend long working hours at their respective workplaces. In such a case, it is not fair to the wife if she has to handle all the household chores alone. For a successful marriage, try to divide your responsibilities.
For example, if the wife is taking care of the cooking, the husband can take care of the grocery shopping.
2. Discuss your finances
A universal topic which usually causes huge fights and misunderstandings is that of ‘money’. If not before marriage then immediately after it, a newly married couple should try to figure out a way to manage their finances together.
Weather you both are working or only one, you need to decide an amount for your household expenses, investment schemes, other expenses, and most importantly, set a particular amount to save every month.
3. Accept each other's weaknesses
Everyone dreams of finding a perfect life partner. One who is caring, sensitive, funny, charming and the list goes on and on. But you need to accept a simple fact that nobody is perfect, not even you! So instead of pinpointing your partner’s negative points or weaknesses, try to accept them. Do not try to change a person against their will. This might keep them from being open with you. Relationship with your special someone is a space where you just want to be your true self without any pretenses.
4. Resolve conflicts, don't increase them
There is no conflict or misunderstanding which cannot be solved by decent communication. Not discussing matters of conflict with each other can cause them to turn into huge fights. It is obvious that when two completely different people start a new life together, there will be matters of disagreement as the two keep discovering new things about the other. Sitting together and talking about these matters through peaceful communication will help you to resolve disagreement, before they elevate into a fight.
5. Set limits to family interference
For a newly married couple, a common problem that can bitter the relation between a newlywed couple is the unwanted family interference. It could be by the immediate family members or by distant relatives. For the safety of your own relation, set limits to this interference. Always stand up for one another and do not let a third person see even a little crack in the relationship that you and your spouse share.
6. Never forget romance
Don’t underestimate the power of a sweet word or a warm caress, a candlelight dinner accompanied with music, it can work wonders. So despite of your hectic schedules find the time to express your love and never take your partner for granted.
7. Make time for each other
Another important thing is to always find time for one another no matter how busy each of you is. Handling stress at work along with household chores can get difficult for some. But you need to make a conscious effort to take time out for one another so as not to let the romance fade away. This is the best advice for those especially who have met through an arranged setup and are still discovering things about each other.
8. Be honest
Face your problems, admit that they exist and work on solving them. Hiding behind a screen will not make them disappear, and ignoring them will only build them up into a dormant volcano ready to erupt at any time, pouring out lava of pain, anger and disappointment.
9. Keep the balance between giving and taking
Love is all about giving, but mind you, this does not mean that one party should take advantage of the other; it can't mean endless giving from one partner and endless taking from the other. There is a thin line between the two partners of giving and taking each in his way.
10. Be prepared for big challenges
One of the most reliable predictors of a lifelong marriage is the commitment to a lifelong marriage. It is for this reason that long-lasting marriages bury the D word (divorce). This doesn’t mean that we hide our head in the sand and pretend that divorce would never happen to us. It means being proactive and doing the daily work of nurturing the marriage so that divorce does not become the final escape.
The wedding day is only the first day of many “I do’s.” It is the commitment to look for a way through a troublesome problem that makes solutions possible, despite all odds. When boredom or weariness challenge your love, it is commitment that pushes you to renew it by dating each other again, attending a marriage retreat or, if necessary, consulting a counselor.
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